I'm Michaela. I don't know what I'm doing with my life.
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epic-humor:

i accidentally messed up my life how do i start a new account

(Source: squidwurd, via h0llowsound)

vanjalen:

basedpidgeot:

gf: babe come over

me (a lawnmower) : no i cant im cutting the grass and you live in the sky

gf: my parents are out

me: image

at what point does a joke die because i think we’ve beaten this horse into the ground with an aluminum bat

(via stay-ocean-minded)

pmon3y69:

drdawg:

my friend Pete literally makes me cry with his snap stories

this is me, i am pete, love me 

(via kurt-nobrain)

assvvipe:

summer lovin
had me a blast
summer lovin
dick in my ass

(via isyourcumglutenfree)

parents: you need to go out more
parents: you need to exercise more
parents: YOU'RE GOING OUT FOR A WALK??? YOU?????
parents: HAHAHA WHAT'S GOTTEN INTO YOU???
parents: why are you getting angry

i-ran-over-oprah:

[white guy voice] protein

(via lounge-lizard)